sixteen(:

Monday, February 5, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: FIRST CONTACT WITH ZIGGY
(Before you proceed, skip this article and read SHAWN WEE'S VERDICT)

Monday, February 5th, 2007
S.W.A.T. has made a historical breakthrough in the history of the search for Ziggy. This afternoon, S.W.A.T. dispatched a solitary troop into the uncertain battlefield across the corridor from home camp... Her mission: to identify Ziggy-looking people from the foreign cohort.

Escorted by what seems like an Aaron look-alike, our P.I. makes a triumphant return...with a new lot of clues for S.W.A.Ters to dwell upon...

Ziggy makes first contact. A pictorial collection of clues were recovered by our spy. Our spy reports that these pictures can direct from a complacent Ziggy, who undermines Shawn's case-cracking abilities. It is effective to note that Ziggy is highly intelligent, as these photos were bluetoothed to our private investigator's phone. No fingerprints could have been left behind. It is also effective to note that Ziggy is highly unintelligent, as he has been fooled to think that S.W.A.T. are fools by the technique of suspect-decoy. What a fool.

The pictures were arranged on the table and deductions made from them:

Upon seeing this photo, P.I. Chen Jo Jo quipped: "In this photo, Ziggy is present. He is the doubious figure in the bakground with a hand cunningly placed in a pocket. Or wait. Is Ziggy the girl in the foreground?!" S.W.A.T. investigators conclude from this photo that Ziggy is either a she or a male. But instead of calling her shemale, due to the sensitivity of a particular member in the squad, they shall call she/he 'shim'...(which still sounds like 'shem' afterall).

The squadron questioned: how did Ziggy capture this picture that included himself? Well, now, clues are pointing in a promising direction. How did peter parker capture pictures of spiderman? YES! Ziggy possess spiderman qualities. Ziggy is in a way....SPIDERMAN. And by logical deduction, a new suspect then emerges, who goes by the name 'SpiderB.Ong'.

The second picture has been concluded to be a result of Ziggy's arrogance and boastfulness. This picture depicts thighs. Dreadful, powerful, solemn thighs. Members of S.W.A.T. all come to an unequivocal consensus on what it dictates: "Mess with me and i will TRAMPLE on you." This piece of evidence has smartly been used by Ziggy to instill fear in S.W.A.T., or in short, SS (Shawn's Squad) and induce the dessertion of SS members from the team. A big, weighty blow.

Ziggy masturbates.

This picture is the final clue from our oblivious enemy. It has the most impact on the Swat Team as it indicates the materialism of Shawn's fiercest nightmares. As seen in the picture, Ziggy resembles a member of S.W.A.T. As in Deathnote 2, Kira manages to be part of L's investigations team. Could this be a replay of the Deathnote storyline in a different setting? "Z" instead of "L". Intrusion into the investigations team by the perpetrator. The story has, thus far, unfolded in a similar.

Captain Wee swears: "I will hunt down that ccb. Ziggy, whoever he or she...or shim is...I will make Shem eat my dick. Shem is a traitor, betrayer, backstabber from the inside. I promise to capture Ziggy and make Shem pay."

The editor is indifferent towards any typo errors made for tonight. As it ups the humour factor of this article.

sweet stuff[: 8:43 PM